falling behind

i should have known this would happen. but is still hurts.

of course she got in, in the first place. of course i didn't even try.

and now, NOW! (thanks a lot andy) i keep falling more and more behind. it's better when i don't know. i can pretend she's not better than me. that i'm still good enough. but of course i'm not.

of course.

hey friends

wow that's a pretty dumb title. haha you know how jessica always calls something dumb "crusty"? daniela said something dumb and jessica was like "crust! crust! crust!" hahahaha sigh...anyway

I'm thirsty!

Teehee

Sorry about that post. I think it's funny. Well of course I do, I wrote it. Hehe. I've been making like REALLY cool roller coasters....so anyone who wants to come over and make one with me just tell me and COME ON OVER!!! It would be SO MUCH FUN!!!
Yeah.
OK, well I've been blocking out school until today. You know, you refuse to think about it, you run out of the room covering your ears whenever you see a back-to-school commercial. Yeah. But today it became to real and I had to think about it.
ANd my thoughts were "ew. school. ewwwwww." WHy is it so lame? it like takes our lives and...and....and does CRUEL THINGS to them. I'm not sure how to explain it. but i mean, school is supposed to help you, right? And i feel so much more fulfilled and i have learned so much more over this summer than, like, all my school years put together. Isn't it dumb? We should be able to learn about things we care about.
Ok well that's my depressing little rant about school. And now to DISNEYLAND!!!
Ok homies, NO ONE has given me any ideas. Even mackenzie who posted 12 comments, forgot. GRR!!!
I'm thinking about posting lyrics but I'm not sure if they'll bore you....ok I'll give you some really interesting ones. Hmmm...no i don't really feel like it. lol sorry about that.
so all y'all who are starting school soon, big surge of sympathy out to you. ANd if you're feeling deprssed CALL ME!!! Or just pretend I'm there. WOuld that make you feel better? I dunno...if I was depressed and I pretended Yasameen was there I'd like immediately be cheered up. Do I have the same personality as Yasameen??? WILL THIS WORK??? i dunno...
welll folks...I best be goin'
howdy
-jordan

Delicious little post-y

Marilyn thought that was SO funny. "Ha, ha." she said. "I think that is SO funny."
Unfortunately, Brian, her ex-husband heard her and leapt out from behind a bush.
He
WANTED
REVENGE!!!!!!!
"Bam" he said. "I blowed you up."
Marilyn stared at him blankly, at a loss for what to say. BECAUSE SHE WAS DEAD!

WHOA!

The Craziest thing happened to me today!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO I was on this disneyland website and you can tell them all the rides you want to go on and they'll print out a map for you!!! that is so cool!!! ok well for ME it was cool. HI cheyenne! I have to say hi now because I don't want to call you again and bother you lol. (To fill you in folks, I keep calling cheyenne...it's fun.) OH! And I have this AWESOME roller coaster CD that I keep using to make AWESOME roller coasters. lol

So, I have to clean my closet for another hour todays which sucks, but I got The Lookout from netflix!! Go watch the trailer on youtube!

So...I have an idea. If any of you have any ideas of random things you want me to do at Disneyland just tell me and i'll do them. It'll almost be like actually being there! Ok, maybe not. But we really should plan a little thing where all of us buddies go to disneyland together!!! That would be so fun!! I am so serious!! We should do it!!!! Look at your calendars!!!! ANyway, so just tell me random things you want me to do at disneyland (e.g. do the star wars gangsta rap as I'm going down the splash mountain drop. something like that.)

so...yeah. Hmmm i think that's all I have to say. oh and this isn't the post i emailed you about. you have to read this one AND the one before it. I did 2 in one day!!
see ya
joordan

umm...hi

lol I haven't posted for a while, huh? Well, yeah cuz I was doing SMT which is the funnest thing ever!! Yeah...I'm listening to the last 5 years right now, you ALL have to go on iTunes and buy a few songs from it. I would say buy Goodbye Until Tomorrow/I Could Never Rescue You, Climbing Uphill, A Summer in Ohio, and....A Miracle WOuld Happen if you like love songs lol. Which I do. Also, you all need to buy Finale B from RENT. And Mama WHo bore me from Spring awakening. ok tht's it.

I'M GOING TO DISNEYLAND IN 12 days!! WOO! i'm really excited. if you know me at all, you know i loooove disneyland. I've been kinda bored...cuz SMT's over and I have nothing to do. Hey I might try out for LACHSA!! actually i AM trying out for LACHSA i've decided that. But they don't take many tenth graders....so i probably won't get in.

ANyway, I FINALLLy saw Amelie!! It was totally worth waiting forever. Also, I saw Rocket Science which is in theaters now and you ALL have to watch the trailer on youtube.

Sorry, I realize I'm commanding you to do a lot of things...and that for some of you I've already told you to do these thigns. So sorry.

"i don't know how anybody survives in this life without someone like you." that's a nice quote. It's from the song I'm listening to.
ooh this is the good part.
"i want to be your wiiiiiiiiiife. I want to bear your chiiiiiiiiild. I want to die knowing I had a long full life in your arms....that I can do....forever with you....forever....forever.....Jamie....'til the world explodes....til there's no one left who has ever known us apart....."

Ok sorry I'll stop now. Oh, and this is the last time I'll talk about movies in this post (sorry I have to) but I need to plug my friend's movie!! Actually it's her dad's movie, he wrote and directed it!! it's called resurrecting the champ and it's coming out friday!! woot!! everyone go see it! (sorry, another command.)

Ok, so my parents were like "if you clean you room, you can have a laptop!!" woo!! So I've been cleaning my room for like 3 weeks lol...and I'm not done yet.

Goofy is my favorite disney (person). Lol that's in parentheses cuz he's not really a person. Ok...wellnow I have i have to do the deep philosophical part of my blog because that's what everyone else does...sigh...grr!ok here goes

ACk I want to tear My LIFEEE into PIEces and DIIIIEEEE and jump into an endless hole where my memories fade into thje BLACK behind ME!!!! AHH!!!! As I tear into oblivion I START A NEW FUTURE WITHOUT REGRET!! WOOT!!!

Ok, I'm glad that's over. hmm...i suppose that kind of stuff isn't really for me...YASAMEEN WHERE ARE YOU>?? cheyenne got back and yuo're like gone. No you're not. but I haven't talked to you forever. h. uh...yeah

Oh, also i got a callback for Big River (for YOUng Fool!) and then I didn't get the part. lol. sucks. it's ok though...they might be starting WMT!!! (winter musical theater!!) tummy tummy....

oh yeah...and last thing before I go....my friend posted these videos of me singing nd dancing on youtube. Here they are.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdFnw9rTPl0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z5oJLU3XwY0=hdFnw9rTPl0
just copy and paste them...by the way the person sitting next to me is Marilyn and the one off-camera who randomly starts singing "Joanna" is ashley. lol. and we're at paseo NOT universal Studios.

k
bye
love y'all
ya'll rock
have good days
woot
bye
"without you, today's emotions would be the scurf of yesterdays"
"I'll have the pizza!" *cheer from audience*

HI!!!

I am REALLY sorry about that depressing and very worrisome post. I am better now and can actually read better...for some reason i get really depressed all of the sudden...i was hiding in closets again...and then i played chess (kind of anticlimactic huh...were you expected me to shoot myself??? THINK AGAIN!! I think shooting yourself would be a lame way to do....but don't jump off a building like Amelie's mom...no i didn't see it but i've seen parts and bits and snippets and teewigs--ha HA TEEWIGS!!!!)

ANyway, not sure how this happened but somehow after my prolonged absence, i have acquired more readers!!! Noah, is that you? Seth!! Are those Seth words I hear??? AlACk!!! And yes, faithful Mackenzie remains. (by the way what do you need to talkto me about...now i feel like i'm in trouble...ooh sucky)

Uhh..well the last two days i was sick VERY VERY sick yesterday i was having an awful time...today I'm better but still a little WOOH if you know what I mean (and if you don't then i can't help you. I mean,is it that important? maybe who knows i mean...hehe ya) so i refused to eat until my mom got me blueberry cake from starbucks (AHHH BLUEBERRY CAKEEE) and so i didn't eat until 1230 (!!!) but then i had my little cake and i played CHESS!!! HA!!!!!!!!!!!!! HA!!!!!!!

Buds, kalachuZAM y'all

You rogues! YOu! YOu vagabonds! MY FUTURE AWAITS

dddd

i'm a tad suicidal and very very depressed. sorry i'm letting y'all down by not posting anything exciting or original but i'm just very depressed. since you're already reading all those other blogs that are depressing maybe i should pretend to be happy. but i don't feel like it. i'm just too depressed.
so like a month and a half ago was having this weird thing reading. like i could read but it was hard and ditracting cuz i couldn't read normally. AND I STILL CAN'T!! I HATE MY LIFE! AND NOW I CAN'T READ SUBTITLES!!! where did THAT come from? i could still read subtitles a few weeks ago. i'm confused and retarded eye doctor doesn't know what's wrong and i'm dying because i can't read. I can't watch Amelie. AMELIE IS MY LIFE! HOW CAN I NOT BE ABLE TO WATCH IT! I USED TO LOVE SUBTITLES

but now i can't read them

i hate this



so sad


someone
help

Incomplete

I feel very incomplete. I'm reading these other people's blogs and not only do I feel guilty because I'm fairly content, but I also feel stupid and trivial. LIke, I don't have these kind of problems and I'm easily made happy. I feel...very incomplete. Worthless. but the thing with me is...it's like that's ok. I'm ok with the simplicity of that when I stop thinking about it. But am I really living if I ignore these thoughts??? But that's just it...now I'll ignore THAT thought, and I'll be fine. I'm always fine.

Anyway, I revisited a novel I started writing a while ago and it's actually pretty good but it's confusing and I can't remember what the rest of the story was going to be, because it was complicated. It's really annoying.

I strongly recommend The Hours to everyone. It's STUNNING.

viva la...whatever

hey y'all!!! sorry for my prolonged absence

ok well it seems like i'm not fitting in peoples!!! I'm not a goody-goody person but i'm not all-out rebelling either, which i kind of want to do, but i'm not brave enough. I admire those who do...ugg. Well, we're going to the mountains this weekend so i can clear my mind and LISTEN TO MUSIC!! Everyone, buy Mr. Blue Sky by electric lightorchestra and buy any songs by they might be giants. woot. Sorry this bloggy post is a little unstructured. well my week was ok, just frustrating and i think i became a more accepting person this week!!! major woot!! I'd want to be mad at people but then i'd find me being mad at mySELF for being mad. well ya.

sigh. so much lack of communication this weekend. NO COMPUTER BUDDIES!!!! oh well. hope y'all have good weekends.

i feel bad because my post isn't that long. so let me end this by saying.

"YOU ROCK" (cuz if you're reading this, you obviously rock.) and email me or tell me "yaya goo" and i'll hug you!!! sound fun???

HEY!!!--oh no

I am SO WEIRD!!!! I'm having crazy doubt things!!!! I spent the entire day (the ENTIRE DAY) worrying if I could still read subtitles. How Lame is that??? I'll tell you. So lame that Lame has to be capitalized!!!! And Mackenzie was talking to me on the phone until she abruptly left leaving me ALONE. I tried to call her back but I don't know how. TEehee. And I don't want to go back to ms. miller's class. ug. I am so distressed about that. And the subtitles thing. I don't know why though. I think I'm going crazy.

So I was absent today because I was having MAD ALLERGY SPASMS and my throat hurt REALLY BADDISH so i thought I had a TERRIBLE COLD and I stayed home from school. Which turned out fine because I got to watch Match Point on HBO. TEEHEE!!! It was really good. Anyway, now I'm incredibly distressed because I don't want to go back to Ms. Miller's class. What if she's upset when she finds out??? What if i can't stay???? I DON't UNDERSTAND WHY MY LIFE HAS TO BE SO TRAUMATIC!!!!!! And I'm going blind again. Except this time I know I don't need glasses because I know that what happened last time is happening again (bad allergy weather=dry eyes.) But I digress.

The week has been ok so far, except for the absence of Yasameen which has been mildly TERRORIZING!!! It's oddly quiet. TAT!!

And. I. Am. Feeling. Strange.

OHOHOH---IIIIII (I, myself) AM FEEEEEELIN STTTTTTTTTTTTTRANGEEEEE!!!!!!!!! And upset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO!!!!!!!!! UPSET!!!!!!!!

Lazy lazy lazy...or....not i guess

well...ok there have been things going on you know like writing poems and thinking and stuff but i haven't wanted to think or try really. Like...man this is hard to put to words....so there was this poem I was supposed to write and eventually i did it but i just didn't want to think or try and i guess i was being lazy...or I was just afriad to try because I thought I would fail myself. Like that whole thing last post about how I thought i was stupid...i guess i don't want to try thinking or having in-depth discussions or writing meaningful poems because I'm afraid that if I try i won't be able to accomplish anything worthwhile and I'll feel horrible and depressed and (yet again) really stupid. And yes, I can attribute part of that to laziness and I know right now that I need to stop because if I'm too afraid to cross the bridge because I'm tired and I'm afriad I'll fall off I'll never get anywhere and I'll never know what's on the other side. WHOa epiphany-ness. And i've taken the first step by writing this!!! I'm excited.

Sigh

I always look forward to the weekend the whole week long and then on Saturday I'm depressed. WHY? WHY?
GACK!!!!!!!! And I thought my movie obsession would be over, but I'm STILL obsessed. (Can you believe it??) However, I'll spare you all and won't talk about them.
Anyway, so last night was good because i had SUSHI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! which I prepetually crave. Man, why am I so BORING??? I have nothing to write about. How. Annoying.
Well my book is really good and I encourage you all to read it!!!!! It's called I am the Messenger by Markus Zusak. Wowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww my life is boring.
Anyway, uhh tonight I'll talk to Lacey, I promise. Last week I was going to but she wasn't there. HOW annoying. And, and, and, i dunno.
I slept on the couch. it was vastly uncomftorable. And cold. but i survived.
i thought this weekend was going to be good
i was depressed all week too because i thought i was stupid ( i still do but i'm pretty much over it now) but whatever. Why would you care if ME doesn't even care. ( I know that was atrocious grammar, sorry, but you can't put "I" in all caps cuz it already is and it was getting the right effect.) ok. well
bye,
depressed me

miso soup awaits

HAHA NASTY BLOGGERSSSS!!!!!!

So.....well the Academy Awards were annoying (Babel got only ONE??? WHAT???) but it was enjoyable. So...actually I have to go have miso soup (and empty the dishwasher.)
I'll be back soon. (Sorry.)

oh

I just realized that I should probably tell everyone I have a blog. HA. HA. HA.

cool

OOH I just reread my last post and saw that it was vastly superior to my first post. (So read it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

The Bored And Disappointed and Rather Frustrated Little Posty

EEEEEk I am so annoyed. And i wasn't trying to jock your description of me, Mackenzie, really. I wasn't even thinking of that. But to move on, I'm sitting here. Ok, i'll fill you in. (hehe)

So, yesterday I had this epiphany thing, like I was all stressed and depressed (rhymenation!!) and then i had one of those (ack it's going to sound cheesy) don't give up-you can do anything-your meant to be here-you should be nice to everyon-you have a whole future ahead of you-you can do whatever you want-i want a ceaser salad kind of thing. Ok, well words don't describe it well but i was outside after the raining and it smelled like rain (fresh, clean pure) and it felt nice. So, all inspired, I went to bed.

Then I woke up, and all the inspiration was gone. I was really tired and I just wanted to lie in bed....but alas, school awaited me where I found out i was getting an F in geometry. (yes, I'm serious. hehehe)

Fine, fine, there's a twist, I didn't REALLy get an F in geometry, meaning it said i did but I didn't. Mr. Carruthers messed up and i actually have a B something (or something.) Whatever. Just had to throw that in there. I was scared for a second. The only reason I really care about grades is because my parents like it (I guess that's why anyone does) and I really should try harder because I don't want to grow up and be really lazy. So I need to start working more.

Anyway, so now I'm stressed and slightly depressed again because all my inspiration vanished and I'm home after eating a good, but extremely small-portioned meal. (They gave me like 1/2 an inch of lasagna. Please.) So I'm hungry, and then we were all goin to watch Half Nelson ("we" meaning jimbo, me, my dad, and partially my mom-who never watches a whole movie, just wanders in and out of the room).

So it was all nice and we had a little fire but then we realized that we were all coughing because the smoke was coming toward us instead of going up the chimney (which i must say was rather annoying.) Jimbo and I had coughing fits and had to leave. And now we're waiting and it's probably too freakin late to watch the movie and is brian reading this?

Anyway, now i'm EXTREMELY ticked. AUHHHH. GGG. RRRR.

Well, I guess I'll go. Sigh.
Sorry, I didn't want to end my blog being depressed. I feel so inferior because Mackenzie's blog is all deep and mine is like....just there. haha like me. And not jocking mackenzie in any way (just so we're clear folks.) I'm getting the feeling that Mackenzie is the only one reading this.

my first post and i don't know what to talk about

ok...well I'm starting a blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

yay.

well all i'm interested in right now is movies so...

Well, here's my top ten list!!!!!!(for 2006)

Babel
United 93
Pan's Labyrinth
The Queen
Letters From Iwo Jima
The Prestige
Flags of our Fathers
The Good Shepherd
Little Miss Sunshine
The Illusionist

Yeah, and I'm really exciting about ellen hosting!!! And i like the oscars and I'm going to BEAT my dad this year. Wow I need to go and walk with my mom. If anyone wants to talk movies just email me at joshgroban32@hotmail.com

Wow

I'll have more interesting things to say later

bye