Lazy lazy lazy...or....not i guess

well...ok there have been things going on you know like writing poems and thinking and stuff but i haven't wanted to think or try really. Like...man this is hard to put to words....so there was this poem I was supposed to write and eventually i did it but i just didn't want to think or try and i guess i was being lazy...or I was just afriad to try because I thought I would fail myself. Like that whole thing last post about how I thought i was stupid...i guess i don't want to try thinking or having in-depth discussions or writing meaningful poems because I'm afraid that if I try i won't be able to accomplish anything worthwhile and I'll feel horrible and depressed and (yet again) really stupid. And yes, I can attribute part of that to laziness and I know right now that I need to stop because if I'm too afraid to cross the bridge because I'm tired and I'm afriad I'll fall off I'll never get anywhere and I'll never know what's on the other side. WHOa epiphany-ness. And i've taken the first step by writing this!!! I'm excited.